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Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Planking – Finally stupidity takes its toll



Apologies in advance for the massive wall of text, but this topic is really pissing me off and I need to vent.

Here in Australia, over recent months a craze called planking has really taken off. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it (you’re definitely not from Australia), it is the act of lying on an object or between 2 objects etc. in a perfectly horizontal position, and obviously you’ll want someone to take a picture so you can post it on Facebook to impress all your mates. I first found out about it when my workmates started planking in between cars at work and on the hot water system out the back of work and what not, I didn’t really think much of it, I definitely didn’t realise it was the latest social phenomenon. But I recently found out there’s a planking fan page on Facebook with over 85,000 followers (last I heard) and its support is growing by the hour, with other planking tribute pages being made for other countries.

Naturally with this sort of behaviour there is an element of one upmanship that will inevitably be brought into the picture. The way I understand it, people gain more respect from the planking community (a fine group of well educated, sobriety enthusiasts I’m sure) by planking in dangerous or illegal places. Some dude got charged with trespassing on police property after he planked on a police car, I don’t know if the above picture is of that incident but you get the idea. Inevitably when something gets turned into a competition people are going to get upset or hurt trying to outdo their fellow competitors. On the 15th of this month at about 4:30 am, what may be the world’s first planking death occurred, a bloke by the name of Acton Beale.

He had been out on the town drinking with mates and was planking on the way home. When they got home he decided to plank, while drunk, on a 5 cm wide balcony rail…of a seventh story apartment. Am I the only one that sees this as being barely worthy of 100 words in the paper? We don’t hear about every drunken death that occurs as the result of stupidity and nor should we. Planking is not something I can endorse, but hey to each their own. What really pisses me off is the fact all and sundry seem to think this craze is cool. Well, fuck you, it isn’t. Neither is it a tragedy that some drunken fool fell off a balcony while trying to balance on a 5cm wide rail. If he had been drunk driving and crashed into a tree killing only himself we as society would shake our heads and view him as a reckless fool with poor judgement and that it was a blessing nobody else was hurt. We should not be getting up in arms over this, I probably should have died a few times due to some questionable (read: stupid) decisions I’ve made while both drunk and sober. And you know what; if I had, I would have deserved it.

Here’s the next social trend I’m going to be starting up for all the retarded sheep, sorry I mean hilarious pranksters, out there. Let’s all stand over power points, downed power lines, electric fences and the like and urinate in short bursts onto them, don’t worry if they’re just short bursts and the stream never directly connects your body to the source of electricity you'll be fine. DON’T GET KILLED, OTHERWISE PEOPLE WILL MISTAKE THIS FOR A BAD IDEA. Obviously you’ll need to have someone video you doing this if you want internet respect, get on board. Planking is for pussies, let’s play Electrical Urination Roulette.

36 comments:

  1. Weird trend. Doesn't seem like it would serve any purpose...

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  2. I hadn't heard of "planking" before but... man I think that's actually the stupidest thing I've heard of.

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  3. Eh, just stupid people doing some cleansing of the gene pool. We should be thanking them for removing themselves :P

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  4. Planking is bloody stupid. Besides, didn't Japan do something similar years and years ago? I think they just pretended to be dead in weird spots though.

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  5. ok first time i've heard about planking.. and according to picture is crazy?

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  6. to come from the same country as these planking morons makes me ill.

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  7. god people are stupid. however, this urination roulette idea sounds like it has potential.... XD

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  8. Another great post, i totally agree with what you just said.
    Planking all the way.

    Jimi

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  9. Favourite bost yet brobro, how about funnier and completely safe pranks like shitting in a wallet and leaving it somewhere for someone to find whilst watching from afar!

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  10. Electrical Unrination Roulette doesnt sound like any fun.

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  11. I actually enjoy reading rants and text walls :P

    I'm glad stupid things like that haven't caught on in Canada - at least not in my corner of Ontario. Hopefully it never does...

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  12. that is the dumbest thing I've heard all day

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  13. Drunks aren't famous for good judgement, but 'planking' 7 stories up?????????

    There was a similar, though less wide-spread craze 10 yrs ago where boys would prove their courage by lying in the road while cars drove by.... that lasted until a few got run over.

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  14. Good Blog! I never drink and drive because i know if i hurt myself, then thats my own fault, but i cant live with the fault of someone elses injury or death

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  15. Planking is so stupid...Its not even funny to look at or do, and the fact that people die trying to risk such a stupid photo is beyond me

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  16. Personally I don't give a toss either way about planking, stupid people are gonna be stupid at on or around anything they can. I have quite enjoyed watching newsreaders trying to say the word planking in a serious tone without looking like a tool, it just isn't possible.

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  17. Yeah this is pretty stupid who would do that?

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  18. Yeah. Planking is amazingly retarded. I can't believe people think this is actually cool or funny. General internet consensus is that it's stupid.

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  19. planking is for attentionwhores :)

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  20. Just a stupid way to get attention

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  21. why so mad? xD haha darwins theory rules :D

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  22. This is exactly the kind of thing that gets less cool the more people know about it. It would be hilarious if it was just you and your friends, but now it's just people trying to show they're cool.

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  23. ... Planking, now that is a word I didn't know before. Well I should say it's stupid according to what you said, but I hope I don't see that around.

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  24. lol I can see why it caught on though...it's so dumb LOL. An that kid should not have done that- sad though

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  25. Not a big fan of planking. It was interesting at first, but people took it to far.

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  26. I was stationed on the USS George Washington when it pulled into Perth last year, saw some guys doing this in the park, they laughed at us cause we were looking at them like they were nuts. I honestly had no idea what the fuck they were doing until I read this post. Thank you... I mean that. Now I can live my life.

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  27. Lol, stupid. Why to do that?

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  28. Laziest extreme sport ever.

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  29. Some people just take it a bit too far.

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  30. http://5secondfilms.com/watch/planking/

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  31. haven't heard of it in the netherlands yet, thankfully :)

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  32. Never seen it irl but it looks weird

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